Oh dear. It's been over a month.
Since my last post, I have finished the semester and come back home. I have celebrated my 20th birthday. I have gone back to work at the lovely AMC Theaters. I have been reunited with my dear Laura who has returned from Barcelona. I have thought some things. Here they are:
1. 20. What a dumb, nebulous age. It's the only multiple of ten that no one gives a shit about. Everyone loves 30, 40, 50, etc. But 20 just isn't 21, and therefore, no one will ever care about it. Also birthday related: despite the fact that my birthday lies pretty much in the middle of the year, all of my very close friends are younger than me, which means I will have a pretty lonely 21st birthday. Bummer.
2. Something happens to people when they make the turn into the Palisades Center parking lot: any sense of manners or decency they may have had just melt away, and then they are left with the douchey core of their soul. I think what I mean to say is I've returned to work. I am not enjoying it. Although, I did get a fun phone call at the movie theater yesterday that I think is worth repeating:
Me: Hello, AMC. Can I help you?
Guy on Phone: Hey, um... Do you have that movie Land of the Lost?
Me: No, it's not out yet.
Guy on Phone: Oh, it's not?
Me: No.
Guy on Phone: Oh. Um... Is it good?
Me: ...I don't know, it's not out yet.
Guy on Phone: Oh yeah. Well... do you guys have any other movies?
Me: Well, it's a movie theater, so... yeah.
And then of course there was the wizard/unicorn guy, but I really think text wouldn't do him justice.
3. I've been YouTubing quite a bit lately. Specifically, I've become infatuated with the VlogBrothers (I watched all of their videos - literally, from the beginning - over the course of about four days during finals) and Julia Nunes. Actually, it was JuNu who led me to the VlogBrothers, so that makes her double awesome. Just go check them out and love them. Or we can't be friends.
4. Lately I've also been hitting up a few humorous blogs. (FailBlog, FML, Go Fug Yourself). People have been mentioning other blogs to me also, all of which sounded wonderful, and none of which I can remember. If you've got a blog that will make me giggle, leave it in the comments.
5. I'm sorry my blog sucks and is boring. I promise that next time, it will actually be about something. (I know I promised this last time).
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
What I Learned From Trying To Organize My Thoughts
So clearly I haven't updated this blog in I think approximately two weeks. I fail at life. Although, in my defense, it's finals time, so I've been working a lot. I've also been sleeping weirdly deeply to the point where my alarms aren't waking me up, and my laying down to take a "half hour nap," which then turns into a four hour nap, which accidentally ends after my afternoon class has ended. So the point is, I've been failing at life in several areas of my life.
I want to actually talk about interesting things on this blog, but being that, as previously mentioned, I've been riding the fail boat to fail town recently, this post is just going to be babbling. Once I get home from school, I'll start actually thinking about these things.
So here's the stuff I have to say:
1. I think I'm going to stick with the list thing. At first, I was like, "That's lazy. It just means you don't have to think about how your thoughts flow into each other." And this is undeniably true. However, it is also an accurate representation of me, because it turns out I speak in lists also. I mean, a lot. I realized recently that my extended thumb, pointer, and middle fingers are very important conversational tools of mine. (Apparently I list things in three's a disproportionate amount of the time.) So, I'm gonna be rockin' the list thing from now on.
2. I am in the midst of a very serious internal battle. This is a battle that will no doubt be strewn all over this blog, and in fact it most likely already has. And this is the battle between post-period single spacing and post-period double spacing. It's so painful. All my life, I was a double spacer, and I never thought twice about it. There was one instance senior year when, while working on Arcadia, Alex called my double spacing into question, because apparently mine was the only submission file that came in double spaced, and he had to go through and delete one space from the beginning of every sentence. But still, I remained unmoved.
And then last semester, I had to write a paper in APA format, one of the rules of which is the use of single spacing.
So I did it. It was hard, but after every sentence, I put only one space. And now... oh God. Now both instincts - that to single space and that to double space - are in me. I think I'm becoming a single spacer now. But I feel like I'm betraying my roots. Here. I'll give the double space some time to shine. SHINE. (Edit: Holy Moley, it turns out that blogger automatically deletes one space if you put two. I had originally put double spaces at the beginning of those last sentences; they're gone now! Well, I guess that's the end of my internal struggle...)
3. As established, my inability to come out of a deep slumber in a timely manner has been something of a source of suck in my life. However, the hazy state of my memory between the time the alarm goes off and the time I roll out of bed has actually proven to be a constant giver of gifts. Because it ensures that I won't remember what happens in that time until later on in the day, if at all, and let me tell you... some funny shit happens during that time. I will share some of those things with you now.
3a. (Oh yeah, I have subsets). The other day, I was hitting snooze repeatedly. After hitting snooze one of the times, there was a brief pause, and then, "...Hello?" I did not hit snooze, I hit answer (because I am a genius in the morning). I then proceeded to have a brief conversation with my mother, which dealt only with a single subject: The lyrical gymnastics of one Ms. Britney Spears. Here is a very inaccurate transcription of the conversation, which I remembered about twelve hours after it took place:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Are you sleeping?
Me: Yeah, but it's fine. I'm trying to get up. (Side Note: I did not get up for several hours.)
Mom: Okay. I just have a quick question. You know that new Britney Spears song? What's it called?
Me: "If You Seek Amy."
Mom: Yeah, that. So, my question is... I saw the video for it the other day, and - now this is in the video, but not on the radio - I swear it sounds like she's saying, "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K me."
Me: Yes.
Mom: But then on the radio it's sounds like she's saying the other thing... What is it?
Me: If You Seek Amy.
Mom: Yeah. So which is it?
Me: It's "If You Seek Amy," but it's supposed to sound like "F-U-C-K me."
Mom: Oh, so it's supposed to sound like that?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Okay! Thanks! That's all I wanted to ask you. I'm going to go back to work now.
My only reaction is to say this: I love my mom.
3b. I fell out of bed the other day. My leg was asleep, and it decided it wasn't going to stand. Also, my bed is like four feet off the ground.
So that's it. (Oh my God -- A list of three! Every time! It's amazing!) I apologize for this being so long and random. From now on... I'll make sense.
I want to actually talk about interesting things on this blog, but being that, as previously mentioned, I've been riding the fail boat to fail town recently, this post is just going to be babbling. Once I get home from school, I'll start actually thinking about these things.
So here's the stuff I have to say:
1. I think I'm going to stick with the list thing. At first, I was like, "That's lazy. It just means you don't have to think about how your thoughts flow into each other." And this is undeniably true. However, it is also an accurate representation of me, because it turns out I speak in lists also. I mean, a lot. I realized recently that my extended thumb, pointer, and middle fingers are very important conversational tools of mine. (Apparently I list things in three's a disproportionate amount of the time.) So, I'm gonna be rockin' the list thing from now on.
2. I am in the midst of a very serious internal battle. This is a battle that will no doubt be strewn all over this blog, and in fact it most likely already has. And this is the battle between post-period single spacing and post-period double spacing. It's so painful. All my life, I was a double spacer, and I never thought twice about it. There was one instance senior year when, while working on Arcadia, Alex called my double spacing into question, because apparently mine was the only submission file that came in double spaced, and he had to go through and delete one space from the beginning of every sentence. But still, I remained unmoved.
And then last semester, I had to write a paper in APA format, one of the rules of which is the use of single spacing.
So I did it. It was hard, but after every sentence, I put only one space. And now... oh God. Now both instincts - that to single space and that to double space - are in me. I think I'm becoming a single spacer now. But I feel like I'm betraying my roots. Here. I'll give the double space some time to shine. SHINE. (Edit: Holy Moley, it turns out that blogger automatically deletes one space if you put two. I had originally put double spaces at the beginning of those last sentences; they're gone now! Well, I guess that's the end of my internal struggle...)
3. As established, my inability to come out of a deep slumber in a timely manner has been something of a source of suck in my life. However, the hazy state of my memory between the time the alarm goes off and the time I roll out of bed has actually proven to be a constant giver of gifts. Because it ensures that I won't remember what happens in that time until later on in the day, if at all, and let me tell you... some funny shit happens during that time. I will share some of those things with you now.
3a. (Oh yeah, I have subsets). The other day, I was hitting snooze repeatedly. After hitting snooze one of the times, there was a brief pause, and then, "...Hello?" I did not hit snooze, I hit answer (because I am a genius in the morning). I then proceeded to have a brief conversation with my mother, which dealt only with a single subject: The lyrical gymnastics of one Ms. Britney Spears. Here is a very inaccurate transcription of the conversation, which I remembered about twelve hours after it took place:
Me: Hello?
Mom: Are you sleeping?
Me: Yeah, but it's fine. I'm trying to get up. (Side Note: I did not get up for several hours.)
Mom: Okay. I just have a quick question. You know that new Britney Spears song? What's it called?
Me: "If You Seek Amy."
Mom: Yeah, that. So, my question is... I saw the video for it the other day, and - now this is in the video, but not on the radio - I swear it sounds like she's saying, "All of the boys and all of the girls are begging to F-U-C-K me."
Me: Yes.
Mom: But then on the radio it's sounds like she's saying the other thing... What is it?
Me: If You Seek Amy.
Mom: Yeah. So which is it?
Me: It's "If You Seek Amy," but it's supposed to sound like "F-U-C-K me."
Mom: Oh, so it's supposed to sound like that?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Okay! Thanks! That's all I wanted to ask you. I'm going to go back to work now.
My only reaction is to say this: I love my mom.
3b. I fell out of bed the other day. My leg was asleep, and it decided it wasn't going to stand. Also, my bed is like four feet off the ground.
So that's it. (Oh my God -- A list of three! Every time! It's amazing!) I apologize for this being so long and random. From now on... I'll make sense.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
What I Learned From Late Night/Early Morning TV
When one watches TV at 5:30 in the morning, while trying to pull one's first all-nighter and realizing that one made a horrible decision and this is not going to end well, one notices some interesting things.
1. Most channels feature half-hour long ads for workout machinery or diet programs at this hour. I find this peculiar. Is this because these ads are targeting the young, go-getting professional who actually gets up at 5 in the morning to work out before heading off to their inevitably glamorous and high-powered job? Ugh. People like that.
2. There is a time of day when VH1 and MTV show music videos. For example: right now I'm watching VH1, and do you know what I haven't seen all... hour? I haven't seen Bret Michaels, I haven't seen that Tough Love douche bag. I haven't seen Brandy's brother/Kim Kardshian's sex tape co-star. I haven't seen a dating show about a cast off of a dating show for a dating show cast off trying to find love. (Take the time and try to work that sentence through; it makes sense.) I haven't even had to see any annoying VJs. I'm so overjoyed by this that I'll ignore the fact that I hate all the music videos I'm watching.
3. That's definitely Jenna Fischer voicing-over the most recent ProActiv commercials. I am not delusional. It is she.
4. Jamie Foxx really is something of a penis. Just a little while ago, I was subjected to his "Blame It" video (featuring Ron Howard?) which was pretty much a fill-in-the-blank hip hop video. There was booze, there were hot women, there was money mysteriously falling from the roofs of clubs. But do you know why I found this more outrageously grating than your average hip hop video? Because on top of shouting the usual "Look how much money I have!," "Look how many women I fuck!," and "Look how great and cool in general I am!," this video also exclaimed, "Look how many famous and legitimately talented people I know!" I can think of no other reason that Ron Howard should ever EVER be in a video that takes place in a club.
5. There's some band called... something. Crap, I forgot already. I think they had the word "white" in their name, but it wasn't Plain White T's, but it WAS a similar sounding band. Actually, they might not have had "white" in their name. I can't remember anymore. But anyway, the point is they had a video (which was weirdly only like a minute and a half) that I'm 90% sure featured the actress who was lonelygirl15. She must be thanking her lucky stars that she can get a job as an actress doing ANYTHING else. Even if it's being in a 90 second video for a band that's not Plain White T's.
6. Neither VH1 nor MTV want me to know that Lady Gaga refers to her vag as her "muffin." Nor do they want me to hear her say the word "gun."
7. Day 26 (Diddy's most recent Making the Band failure) has a song called "Imma Put It On Her." Except it sounds like it's supposed to be a tender R&B love song. I've literally started typing this next sentence multiple times, but I don't feel that any words can sufficiently express what I'm feeling.
8. If you're a PC and you're NOT 4 and a half then I don't want to hear you speak.
That's about it. But I'm pretty pleased that I could put all that into coherent sentences, as it's 6:30 in the morning, and I've not yet been to bed. What up.
1. Most channels feature half-hour long ads for workout machinery or diet programs at this hour. I find this peculiar. Is this because these ads are targeting the young, go-getting professional who actually gets up at 5 in the morning to work out before heading off to their inevitably glamorous and high-powered job? Ugh. People like that.
2. There is a time of day when VH1 and MTV show music videos. For example: right now I'm watching VH1, and do you know what I haven't seen all... hour? I haven't seen Bret Michaels, I haven't seen that Tough Love douche bag. I haven't seen Brandy's brother/Kim Kardshian's sex tape co-star. I haven't seen a dating show about a cast off of a dating show for a dating show cast off trying to find love. (Take the time and try to work that sentence through; it makes sense.) I haven't even had to see any annoying VJs. I'm so overjoyed by this that I'll ignore the fact that I hate all the music videos I'm watching.
3. That's definitely Jenna Fischer voicing-over the most recent ProActiv commercials. I am not delusional. It is she.
4. Jamie Foxx really is something of a penis. Just a little while ago, I was subjected to his "Blame It" video (featuring Ron Howard?) which was pretty much a fill-in-the-blank hip hop video. There was booze, there were hot women, there was money mysteriously falling from the roofs of clubs. But do you know why I found this more outrageously grating than your average hip hop video? Because on top of shouting the usual "Look how much money I have!," "Look how many women I fuck!," and "Look how great and cool in general I am!," this video also exclaimed, "Look how many famous and legitimately talented people I know!" I can think of no other reason that Ron Howard should ever EVER be in a video that takes place in a club.
5. There's some band called... something. Crap, I forgot already. I think they had the word "white" in their name, but it wasn't Plain White T's, but it WAS a similar sounding band. Actually, they might not have had "white" in their name. I can't remember anymore. But anyway, the point is they had a video (which was weirdly only like a minute and a half) that I'm 90% sure featured the actress who was lonelygirl15. She must be thanking her lucky stars that she can get a job as an actress doing ANYTHING else. Even if it's being in a 90 second video for a band that's not Plain White T's.
6. Neither VH1 nor MTV want me to know that Lady Gaga refers to her vag as her "muffin." Nor do they want me to hear her say the word "gun."
7. Day 26 (Diddy's most recent Making the Band failure) has a song called "Imma Put It On Her." Except it sounds like it's supposed to be a tender R&B love song. I've literally started typing this next sentence multiple times, but I don't feel that any words can sufficiently express what I'm feeling.
8. If you're a PC and you're NOT 4 and a half then I don't want to hear you speak.
That's about it. But I'm pretty pleased that I could put all that into coherent sentences, as it's 6:30 in the morning, and I've not yet been to bed. What up.
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